


For Love of Reason

by TGP



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Gen, Kakashi isn't dealing well, Possibly fluffy later, Shock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 08:29:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6559363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TGP/pseuds/TGP
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His mentor is dead. His mentor's child is still there. Kakashi can't quite get past that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Love of Reason

Minato-sensei and Kushina-nee - no.

Yondaime Hokage and the Jinchuriki have been dead for thirteen days. It takes Kakashi that long to run out of things to do so he doesn’t have to consider what comes next. He really, really does not want to think about that.

There are still definitely repairs and such he could help with, exhaust himself chakra raw with, but after thirteen days, someone finds him standing motionless within a half ruined building and holds out a folded sheet of paper. Kakashi takes it and glances briefly over the text within once it opens to his chakra signature. Sarutobi’s been made Hokage again, until such time as the council can make a decision on his possible replacement. He’s not surprised by that, but is a little at the sudden burst of undirected fire that suddenly burns in his chest.

“Orders?” Kakashi asks, his throat feeling tight but voice even and strong. The nin tells him to report in for further information. He nods and she disappears off to her next target.

Sarutobi is the Hokage again and Minato-sensei is dead and Kakashi cannot stop feeling.

\----

Kakashi is on a rooftop getting ready to make the last leap towards headquarters when he feels it. Fire hot, vicious, _angry._ His heart speeds in his chest and then slows as training kicks in and he’s moving before he’s even realized it. The world blurs around him and suddenly nothing matters so much as getting there, as killing it finally, for real, _right now_.

He barely registers others noticing and following him until there’s a group in his way. The words falling from their mouths are meaningless so Kakashi doesn’t listen. He puts them down one by one with as little fuss as possible because they are still Konoha nins and he doesn’t know why they aren’t running with him and he doesn’t care right now.

They underestimate him but he isn’t wearing his mask or his scarf so he’s not too surprised by that. They cost him a minute, maybe a few seconds less, and then he’s breaking free and running running running and-

He comes abruptly awake in the doorway of a place he recognizes as one of the ANBU’s labs, the hidden places they use to dismantle dangerous things. He’s barely aware of how he got there but his awareness swims again as another wave of pure maliciousness rolls over him. His stomach rolls and he is filled with a hate unlike any other because _this is the one._ This is the thing that took them away from him, this is the-

He’s got a kunai to his throat and realizes he’s not in the doorway anymore. He’s twelve steps forward, halfway through the ring of specialists, and there are three pairs of hands trying to drag him back but he doesn’t care.

There is an infant in the center of complicated chakra glyph patterns that his brain is already decoding as fast as he can look at them, but he barely pays attention to it. What he focuses on is the thin, yellow hair crowning the infant’s head and the way it is the exact shade of Minato-sensei’s. And then he notices the wash of Fox chakra emanating from the baby’s body and the bright, livid seal on his belly and the meaning of the glyph patterns suddenly slam into harsh sense. They’re trying to unravel the seal and transfer the beast elsewhere.

Kakashi doesn’t remember what happens next. He wakes up under heavy sedation and heavier guard. The one ANBU that lets him see her - there are three more he can sense, just barely, and only because he knows what he’s looking for - gives him a faint nod of greeting but doesn’t remove the owl mask from her face. She is a consummate professional, despite the fact that she is fully aware he knows exactly who she is.

“Is that Kushina’s baby?” he asks even though he knows she won’t tell him anything. “Is that Yondaime’s son?”

“The jinchuriki is not your concern,” she tells him evenly but that is all he needs to hear.

He rests off the sedatives quietly. The whole time, he can’t stop thinking of the screaming infant and the feel of angry fox chakra sinking into his skin. He gets another summons to see the Hokage when he’s released but stops right at the entrance. The child is here. He knows he is, like his senses are attuned to nothing else. It itches in the back of his mind.

That is Minato-sensei and Kushina-nee’s son. And they are going to kill him if someone doesn’t step in to stop this, along with everyone else in the village.

He should wait. He normally would, but he isn’t feeling so normal right now. He’s... not sure what he’s feeling. He’s kind of feeling nothing at all except that he has to go save this kid and he can’t even figure out what will happen after that. Kakashi is usually twenty steps ahead of anyone and right now, he can barely plan one.

So he plans one.

After the fact, Kakashi will have trouble explaining just how he accomplishes it all, but two hours later he’s sitting in a tree in the middle of the Forest of Death with about two square miles of traps between him and the rest of the world. The rest of the world except for the blond baby slung to his chest.

The kid is surprisingly quiet, considering all the screaming he had been doing before. Kakashi stares down at the blond crown as the baby sleeps against him, cheek smashed against his shirt. Idly, he traces the odd, darker lines on the baby’s cheek. It reminds him uncomfortably of whiskers. Kakashi tries not to think about that and instead hopes the baby stays asleep for a while longer. He thinks he remembers something about newborns sleeping a lot.

It occurs to him that he knows basically nothing about babies. He has some vague notions that they don’t eat solid food for several months at least and no idea where to get the proper milk or formula to feed one. Kakashi feeds the kid a little tendril of chakra instead to keep him going but is shocked when the beast sleeping inside him already has the kid filled to the gills with it. He could probably starve for months before losing any significant weight. Well, at least it was a good chance Kakashi won’t accidentally kill him anytime soon.

“This is crazy,” he says to himself and the kid makes an odd burble of sound but doesn’t wake.

The run doesn’t last very long. Kakashi hasn’t been in the right mindspace to plan an efficient escape, and he hadn’t really been trying to escape in the first place so much as just get the kid out. Eventually, people get through his traps and take the baby from him and he ends up in front of Sarutobi after all.

When he tries and fails to explain just why he’d done any of it, Sarutobi stands up and circles the desk so he can grip Kakashi’s shoulders firmly, his old hands so very warm.

“It’s all right. You need time to come to terms with your mentor’s death,” he says and there is a kindness to his voice but it is mostly covered by stern authority. “I understand this has been trying on you and that I haven’t been able to address the grief of many in our number. Yondaime was beloved by us all-”

“Minato.” Kakashi looks at his face for the first time since he’s been brought in. “His name is Minato.”

Sarutobi’s grave expression grows more tired as he nods, accepting that much. “I have a mission for you.”

That is exactly what Kakashi needs. He looks over the peticulars, starts planning it out in his head that is starting to actually work again, actually leave the spiral of loss and fear and anger. He has a job to do. He has a duty to his village.

Kakashi heads for the door only to pause there and then he asks, “The baby?”

“I have already made arrangements for him. We can’t change the seal without releasing the beast so we will instead protect him to our fullest ability,” Sarutobi assures him. Kakashi nods and then he goes and does his job.

\----

He returns a little over six months later, successful and over the pain. He still doesn’t feel much, but the fog that had haunted his mind those first few weeks after has lifted and left him clear again. The other ANBU, the older ones that have been doing the job since before he was born, recognize this in him and tell him it will pass, it will get better, that grief is a thing one becomes hardened to. He decides he will wait for that. He got over his father, Obito, Rin; he will get over this.

The problem is that all he can think about since getting back is the kid. He staves off the urge to look into it for six days before he can’t stop himself. It takes him over half a day to figure out where Sarutobi has put the kid and Kakashi isn’t sure how to feel about that. He’s pretty sure he’s being thwarted on purpose but not if it’s personal.

Kakashi gets the birth certificate first and finds out the baby has been named Naruto, which is just like Kushina-nee, it really is. And like her, he’s been dubbed with the surname of Uzumaki instead of Namikaze. And that… That sets Kakashi immediately on edge. Surnames and family ties meant a great deal in the village and the fact that Naruto had been denied his father’s, whether the Namikazes were a lower family or not… Kakashi’s eyes narrow as he considers it. He needs more information but more than that, he needs to see the kid breathing.

Naruto is asleep surrounded by old stuffed toys in a playpen when Kakashi finally tracks him down using every trick he’s accumulated in his fourteen years of life. He’s in one of the ANBU safe houses scattered around the city. They’re usually used for storage and last minute supplies, the occasional in-village interrogations, or sometimes training purposes, but this one has been made up for the kid. A little, anyway. Most of it is barren except for the barest essentials and there’s no sign anyone but Naruto is staying there. Kakashi finds several bins of formula and baby supplies but little else. There are no adults around when he shows up, except for the half dozen newer recruits on duty around the place that he got past with an alarming ease. The special jounin assigned to care for Naruto is absent.

Despite the fact that he knows very little about infants, Kakashi is fairly sure you weren’t supposed to leave them alone like this. Naruto’s sleeping, sure, but he could wake up at any moment. He supposes the guarding nins would alert the caretaker if they were needed, but the whole thing galls him to the core. This is Minato-sensei and Kushina-nee’s son and they had pushed him in a hole where no one could find him and no one was here to take care of him.

Kakashi sits down at the kitchen table and flares his chakra a moment. He can feel the guards react to it and then waits in silence for the caretaker to return.

Yokokawa, the jounin caretaker, is a gruff looking man three times Kakashi’s size. Kakashi knows him by reputation only because their specialties don’t mix well. When he comes inside, Yokokawa does nothing to hide his suspicion and there is a tiny thread of killing intent within him, a warning more than anything. He looks over the mask on Kakashi’s face and the scarf around his neck.

“Why was he left alone?” Kakashi asks before Yokokawa can get a word in first.

“That is not your concern. You’re not allowed in here.”

“That is Yondaime’s son. You know that, don’t you?”

Yokokawa rolls his eyes with exasperation. “Of course I know that. This is not your mission, Dog.”

“You left him _alone_.”

There is a moment when Yokokawa simply glares at him, his hands clenching at his sides. Kakashi waits because he is patient and also to reign in his own anger. He hasn’t felt anything in months and it’s hard to control now that he is again. He closes his eyes behind his mask and reigns it all back. Anger is not going to be useful right now.

“If you have complaints about my handling of this assignment, take it up with with the Hokage,” Yokokawa growls finally and then the relative quiet between them breaks as Naruto wakes up. Kakashi watches a flash of irritation roll over Yokokawa’s face before he goes to tend to the infant. It takes a while for Naruto to calm down and Kakashi can hear Yokokawa grumbling bitterly to him, low enough that Kakashi couldn’t quite make out every word.

Minato-sensei and Kushina-nee’s son was going to grow up with this man who left him alone and didn’t like him and Kakashi _hates that_.

He leaves while Yokokawa is busy but only so he can go straight to the Hokage. He doesn’t even bother with asking, ghosting past various people in the offices and a few guards. He feels the sudden sharp interest which means he didn’t quite get past the guards but he pops into the Hokage’s office a half second before the guard does.

Sarutobi looks up with the mildest of interest, completely unsurprised. He waves off his guard and then folds his hands on the desk.

“I assume you have a reason for barging in,” he says in a dry tone.

“Uzumaki Naruto should be moved to a different caretaker,” Kakashi blurts before he can think too hard about what he’s just said.

For his part, Sarutobi just looks at him for a long while. “That isn’t an option.”

“Then _make it_ an option-”

“You are treading _very_ close to insubordination.” It’s not a threat but Kakashi still shuts his mouth tight. Sarutobi sighs a little, shaking his head. “There are things going on that you are not privy to, undercurrents around that boy that you cannot see. While I am… glad that you’ve taken an interest in Naruto, he cannot be moved at this time.”

Kakashi’s jaw clenches a moment. “There are orphanages-”

“Civilians could not handle what power is within him,” Sarutobi says with regret, “and no orphanage for the children of ninja is willing to take him.”

He isn’t really surprised by that. How many countless children had been made orphans when the Kyuubi attacked…? Kakashi still doesn’t like it.

“He’s cared for now. He will thrive and come to serve the village in one way or another.” Sarutobi turns back to the reports in front of him. “You are dis-”

“I’ll take him.”

Sarutobi looks up again and Kakashi stares him down even though internally, he is starting to freak out. Just what does he think he’s _doing_ -

“...You may be an adult by ninja standards but there is still an age requirement for fostering and adoption outside of clans,” Sarutobi says, but it isn’t unkind. Kakashi understands what he _isn’t_ saying.

There is an age requirement. Kakashi is not far from it. If he is patient, then when he is of age… He somehow doubts there will be anyone to contest him, not even Sarutobi. It gives him time to back out and time to plan for it, if this is what he really wants.

“Dismissed,” Sarutobi mutters and Kakashi goes.

He has about three years to figure all this out. Take every mission he can, put back money, get a better place to live. He can do that. He can wait.

He’ll just make sure to check in on Naruto a lot in the meantime.

**Author's Note:**

> Uuuuhhhh there might end up being more to this. I am not sure.


End file.
